January 8, 2009

Another Childhood Fear Revisited: Afterlifes

From other entries in this blog, you may think that I was only afraid of unlikely things as a child: black holes, sinkholes, tar pits, carnivorous dinosaurs, everyone in the world having telepathy except for me.... 

But this is not true, I was also afraid of something quite likely, inevitable, even.


DEATH!!!

Specifically, as a child,  I was afraid of a variety afterlifes, such as:

Heaven

Why: 
-Because I didn't know anyone there except for my Great-Grandmom and I didn't know what I would say to her except to thank her for the unicorn she gave me before she died. How would I ever keep up a conversation until someone else I knew died??
-Because I wouldn't be able to take anything with me (Would there be Legos in Heaven?? No one told me!)
-Because it would last for an ETERNITY (When I figured out what eternity actually meant, this sent a serious chill through my spine).

Reincarnation

Why:
-Because what if when I got reincarnated, I kept all the memories of my previous life and felt sad when I couldn't reconnect with people I used to know
-Because I didn't want to forget everything! That would be like it never happened!
-Because I might have ended up as a slug or an ant or some other dissapointing creature


Purgatory/Ghosts/Lost Spirits

Why:
-Because what if my family couldn't see me, even though I was there, trying to talk to them? 
-What if a lot of the other beings in my dimension were devious and evil, like I'd heard?

Regaining Concsciousness after Death/Premature Burial

Why:
-Decomposing can't feel good
-Maybe reading Edgar Allen Poe short stories as a kid wasn't that great of an idea....
-I'm claustrophobic


Well, there you have it. Now you are probably all wondering what sort of bizarre religious upbringing I must have had, or what, if any fears I still retain. 

Let's just say that I would totally prefer cremation...

...just in case.....





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