Write or Die + Gears of War= New Blog Post??

I've been playing with an application called, "Write or Die." ("Putting the Prod in Productivity") It's a writing motivation tool that flashes angry red or plays annoying music if you pause too long while you're typing.

I tried it out while Nam was playing "Gears of War 2." Since I was writing 'off the top of my head,' you may notice how this influenced my umm...'stories.' You may also notice that I don't really understand the plot of "Gears of War." Oh well.

Here are some very short stories for you:

Lost in the Snow

Let's go right. Up the stairs. Icicles hang from the doorway, threatening to stab me. I hate it when they do that. So I break one off and eat it. It tastes like water. Very cold, very hard water.

I am off to a horrible start, as usual. This damn school looks like a maze. Probably, because it is one. I don't know who thought it'd be a good idea to build a school within a labyrinth, but I'd like to meet them and then make them stand under these threatening icicles.

I step onto the bridge and look at the pathways that meander in incomprehensible patterns below me. Is my class somewhere down there? I can't remember.

A snowflake falls on my cheek, I brush it off quickly. Crystals seriously freak me out. I am going to be late for my class, but I am not worried. I have not been able to find my class for three months now. Not since it started snowing. I swing my legs over the side of the bridge and jump off. I fall, faster than a snowflake (this is not a vacuum) and land in a snowdrift. I think about all of the crystalline structures I have just destroyed, and smile.

Cookies

I'm set. I'm ready to go. I've just loaded a bunch of freshly baked cookies into my cookie gun and I am totally ready to make some new friends.

I walk on the lumpy street, Yrti told me people call it "cobblestone." How cute.

I pause to admire a tree with delicate white flowers. I pluck one of the blooms and tuck it into my helmet. I don't know what it is about this planet, but ever since I landed here, my mood has just been soaring. I'm giddy like a child, I feel happy....I feel free. I dance down the street. I know my heavy, cumbersome muscles can't possibly convey the joy and lightness of my spirit, but I don't care. I even try to whistle, but it sounds more like a growl.

And then I see them, the humans! Yes! We are totally going to be friends. I pull out my cookie gun and set it to maximum-decadence. I smile and get ready to unleash a ray of buttery goodness. My finger is at the trigger, but something stops me.

The humans are making a noise, they are waving their arms about. Are they dancing? Yes! I think they are! They can't wait for the cookies! I won't make them wait any longer. I pull the trigger--but--no... Something is wrong! Something has gone horribly wrong! Those weren't cookies-- Oh god! Oh no! They're not moving! They're all-- No! This wasn't supposed to happen! I didn't want to-- My friends! Why?!!

Some AI thinks I'm a guy...

:(

While browsing boingboing.net , I came across a post on GenderAnalyzer , a site that uses AI to determine if a blog is written by a man or a woman. I tried it out on this site, and it promptly told me I was a Man. :(

Sure, I was a little surprised, but they do say that it's not completely accurate. So I then tried putting in the addresses of all the blogs I link to over there----------------->

And it figured out everyone else's gender with 100% accuracy.

So, now I am trying to figure out what about my writing style screams, "MAN."

Is it all the references to Black Holes, tar pits, Infinity Glasses, and Poseidon? Or is it something more subtle?

Felines, Fur, and Flash

Nam was trying to find out if our cat had more hair than both of us combined, and he came across a site with a flash intro that was truly artistic and informational...

I THINK YOU SHOULD WATCH IT.
(please make sure your speakers are on so you can have the full experience.)

Io commands it!!

Apparently, this site exists to promote a series of books that I previously mentioned in this blog. (Parasites made me do it: Library Cats)

Besides viewing the intro, you can also learn your Warrior Cat Name (Brambleface??!!!) And find out your Warrior Cat Clan (apparently, my answers confounded the quiz or I was just not meant to belong to a fictional warrior cat gang).